11 p.m.

have you ever felt music that made you feel sensual?
Calm?
Like you were being seduced?
yeah. that's me right now. feeling sensual. liberated. I could feel the unknown touch.
smooth music prevailed while I gazed up
At the clouded, glowing moon.
my head rocked back and forth.
I was in another place.
and it wasn't a bad thing.
It's alright to get this time.
I needed this feeling to never end.
there was a tear in a fantasy and realism
everything became silent.
reality had sunk in.
the stars and moon had been untouched
all along..

a poem for you,

you were like a brother.
even though I have several of those,
none of them were there like you were.
having you in my life helped
and changed a lot,
from toddlers to preteens
you introduced me to anime and video games,
I became a huge "tomboy",
everything felt like a whole new world to me.
from reading Harry Potter to Captain Underpants,
playing football in the yard and with the sticks and pinecones weren't bad either.
I enjoyed every moment we shared.
I lived for those memories of us.
Even got through the tough times we shared,
and we'd each take our discipline from our loved ones,
cry and get over it,
only to be doing the same things over again.
playing video games like Pokémon with each other and sharing sibling like love, while still fist fighting like we were strangers at times, and being angry at one another,
but it wasn't all so bad
when you had someone to go through those tough times with,
like you didn't feel alone going through
life and difficulties we constantly faced,
and when I was secretly over-shadowing my depression,
we watched over each other in a weird kind of way.
you helped me become who I am today.

you,
A friend,
and
A brother,

I appreciate all you've done for me. 

                                  -xo 

open thoughts.

today I've came to a realization. a life realization. something that I needed to understand for years but never put enough thought into it until today. you know like, you know what to do put you just never put it into action? contradicting yourself  and not taking your own advice? yeah that's me. you can't grow and blossom around negativity. you just can't do it.., and if anything, you become negative. your mindset changes, and before you know it, you're going off on the ones you care about because it's just only so much you can take. there's only so much a human can bear. so in order to blossom, you have to leave the negativity behind. no matter how much you find comfort there, it's bad for your health; mentally, emotionally and physically. no matter how much you might "love" it. you have to get out and leave. be around those who uplift and inspire you with their love, positivity, and essence. can't let that negativity mold you into something you're not - grow from it. be better. be positive. be great. speak these words into existence, and start now. & in due time, you will be.

flaw. deformity.

we hide behind the human condition,
to hide flaws and
our imperfections.
continuously hurting the people
who love us.
using excuses for our redundant mistakes.
expecting people to forgive us
because we "deserve" it.